“Watch out for the guy in the bubble shield, he’s got a shotgun!!” screams your teammate, a little too loudly into your ear piece. But with the score tied 49-49, and one more death yielding the game to the blue team, his dramatized shouts are warranted. But just as you’re about to empty a family of needler rounds into “HaloGod67”, a voice from behind you exasperatingly says,

“Can you turn that down? I’m trying to read!”

And just like that, it’s game over for you. The distracting remark that caused your team the game came from your ever-so-pissed girlfriend. For the hardcore gamer who refuses to “grow up” such pleas are all too familiar. Despite earning the horrible ire of non-gamer girlfriends, it’s hard for a diehard gamer to give up until he’s won the last fight, played through it again on the hardest difficulty, and collected all of the achievements.

If left untouched, the situation can reach the boiling point and the dreaded ultimatum may be presented: “It’s either the Xbox or me.” How did it get to this point? But more importantly how can this be resolved?

Everything was fine when you first met her – movies, dinner, and great sex. But soon the novelty of the new relationship wears off,and with it comes off the masks we wear to lure one another in. Eventually the movies become fewer and farther in between, the dinners become repetitive and stale, and the great sex is replaced with a few seizure-like seconds of “thanks for trying”. She finally sees you in your authentic form, as you now see her. Forget Sephiroth, Liquid Snake, or even Bowser – she’s worse than any digital antagonist you’ve ever encountered. To her, your gaming reflects a childish inability to cope with the pressures of the real world, and poses a threat to her position in your life. To you, her incessant nagging and threatening over your gaming makes her take on the form of an unholy, authoritarian Nazi vampire, who won’t rest until your entire video game collection is annihilated!

However, this cruel ultimatum she presents will not solve the problem, but will create new problems. Part of being in a relationship is sacrifice, but that shouldn’t mean sacrificing a life-long hobby that alleviates your daily stress. In spite of this, it is crucial that you do not counter this with the “fight fire with fire” mentality. Don’t believe me? Go ahead and see what happens when you turn the lights out as she’s reading, “How to Change Your Man in 10 Easy Steps” – it won’t be pretty.

The trick is to find a game she might be interested in so that she can, “see what all the fuss is about” and sit down with you for a gaming session. Then perhaps he will be happy to see you take part in his world, and it will be a good reason for him to take part in yours. If the girlfriend's hobby of choice is reading for example, It might mean a lot to her if you wanted to accompany her to the library every once in a while, or joined a book club with her. You both will learn new things about each other. The authoritarian approach is not the way to make a relationship run smoothly. Truly invest in each other, and you’ll find happiness together.

If that doesn’t work, yeah, you guys should probably break up.